From the Nest: Reflections On the Proverbs 31 Lady

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Have you ever questioned if you could measure up as a lady?  A wife?  A mother?  I’ll admit, I fall very short every day.  However, let’s reflect together on the Proverbs 31 lady…God’s standard!

Have you ever read Proverbs 31?  It always amazes me, yet causes me to cringe a bit too.  Or some days, maybe cringe a lot!

Mother’s Day can cause us to reflect on this role and whether you are a biological mother or not, I can’t think of a lady that doesn’t have a strong sphere of influence.

Maybe you aren’t a mother yet, but hope to someday.  Or maybe you are in those stages of little ones all around, getting into everything.  I find myself in the balancing years of children who are growing into their teens and I know my years to raise them are numbered.  There’s a pressure there that is new in this season.  Perhaps your children have grown and left home, maybe even finding yourself as a grandparent.  (Note: when I reach that stage, I hope that I look for ways to fill that role to families around me that don’t have grandparents close by.  I think that is such a huge need!). Perhaps you don’t have children but find yourself in a community where you still have a huge influence and impact on others (that is really all of us!)

Whatever season or stage you find yourself…or whatever sphere of influence surrounds you…the Proverbs 31 lady (and I call her a lady because to me, she seems pretty classy!) in influencing.  She is influencing her husband, her children, those who work for and with her, and her community.

You see, being a godly lady isn’t just what happens at home.  It’s the very thread of a woman’s character, no matter the season, no matter the stage, no matter the age, and no matter the sphere of influence.

Character matters.  So, let’s reflect for a moment on the Proverbs 31 lady.  I took this as an opportunity to make some personal notes for myself:

• Which character traits come naturally to me?  How can I capitalize on those?
• Which of the Proverbs 31 lady’s qualities are a weakness for me?  Name specific examples to yourself and how you could improve in that situation.
• Find Scripture that relates to those weaknesses and memorize; let them start becoming part of the thread of your character.
• Pray about the strengths AND weaknesses, that each are a learning and growth opportunity.
• Be mindful of opportunities to practice the strengths and improve upon the weaknesses.

From the Nest: Reflections On the Proverbs 31 Lady

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.  Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.”

She is trustworthy.

“She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”

She shows a pattern of making good choices for her family and this gives them confidence that she will continue to bring goodness and love to those in her care.

“She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.  She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.  She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.”

She takes joy in her work and shows self-discipline to meet the needs of her household, even when it’s hard.

“She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.  She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.  She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night.  In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers.”

She has educated herself and is able to make decisions that help provide for her family.  Most of all, she is a hard worker and makes sure the job gets done.

“She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.”

She has learned the art of hospitality and shows empathy toward others.

“When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet.  She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.”

She has planned ahead and prepared in advance for the needs of her family.  She takes notice and care of the details.  The Proverbs 31 lady takes care of herself and presents herself with dignity.

“Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.”

She has held her husband in high-esteem to others and built him up.  She doesn’t speak negatively of him to her community.

“She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.”

She is creative and looks for ways to turn her gifts and talents into something that can benefit her family too.

“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.  She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.”

While the Proverbs 31 lady works hard, she keeps a sense of humor and a positive outlook.  She uses her influence in her family to train them to do the same.

“She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

She carefully manages her home, and may I add, with grace.

“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.”

She is respected, loved, and appreciated by her family!

I don’t know about you, but when I read about the Proverbs 31 lady, my first thought is that she is just perfect.  Honestly, it’s a little annoying.  No one is perfect; we were created to need Him!

However, some reflection made me realize…we don’t know what obstacles and challenges she pushed through.  We don’t know the hurt that she overcame.  We don’t know the frustrations she faced, being so intentional to do the right thing, yet functioning in a broken world.  We are not told about all the days that she fell short and totally failed.

What we do know is that a picture is painted for us to strive for.  I don’t think it’s a picture that any of us should expect to mirror, but rather high benchmarks of a high calling: to serve God, our homes, and our communities.

I am tempted to follow up with “the best we can.”  And while I think that is true of everything we do, I think a better way might be to end that sentence “with grace.”

My best, your best is going to look different on different days and in different seasons.  There is also significant and unhealthy pressure in always “doing your best.”  There has to be space for grace and rest and acknowledgement of imperfection.  That is okay too!  I’m still learning about this in my own life, so I write from a place of trying to grow, not from a place of having it all figured out!

So, on this Mother’s Day (I say, Ladies’ Day!), “try with grace.”  Work toward the high calling to serve God, your home, your community, and your sphere of influence and try with grace.  

Most days will fall short of your best, most successful day.  That’s okay.  Keep trying to make a difference in your sphere of influence.  Try with grace.

Most days will have messy parts.  That’s okay.  Be intentional to seek out the good, disciplined to work on the less than, and allow space to grow.

Most days will have exhausting parts.  Especially exhausting when you tried your best, tried with grace, and still fell short.  Learn to rest in all ways: physically, mentally, socially, and spiritually.

Most days will carry many demands.  Demands of your energy, creativity, physical strength, emotions, and heart.  Set boundaries, learn to say no.  Just because you “can” do something, according to the white space on your calendar, doesn’t mean you “should” do that.  Sometimes saying no to an opportunity, whether it’s a job or just a dinner out, is exactly the right thing to do.

Sometimes, I feel like it’s a bit of a season of triage.  Can anyone relate?!  A text dings for someone wanting an answer to this question, a notification goes off for this emergency, the phone rings with news, (can I quickly say…silencing notifications is a gift you can give yourself and your family?!), dinner is late, someone from work needs this done immediately, the washing machine breaks, and we haven’t started on the list of super random things my kids seem to always need. But first in that triage are the people living under my roof, as they are the home I’ve been given to manage.  Set boundaries that even allow you to be able to meet those needs first.

Every day…make an effort to try with grace.  You’re not alone and there is a big, amazing, wonderful Heavenly Father who cares about you, your children, your family, your sphere of influence even more than you do.  Trust Him to fill the gaps!

It’s going to be okay.

Your sphere of influence is give to you on purpose and on time.  A heart that is seeking Him will not be one that ultimately fails. Proverbs 31 lady-in-training…you’ve got this because He’s got this and He’s got YOU!

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Blessings,

(As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.  Posts on Robyn’s French Nest may contain affiliate links. You can see our full disclosure details here.)